I can see it. The edge. It looks as though I will fall into nothing.
My feet… they move on their own. I can’t make them stop.
It’s like standing on a cliff and with every day and every late homework assignment you’re one step closer to the edge.
I move my eyes from the edge and look at the beauty that almost seems to float beyond the edge.
The view is this vast, unknown land that you have only heard of and seen through your parents. First day of school. Boom. One step closer. First homework assignment. Boom. One step closer.
A strange, exciting feeling seeps into my body.
Every step is odd and unfamiliar. You’ve never been here before.
That feeling only lasts for so long before the fear sets in
You don’t know what will happen.
What will happen? I just want it to stop for a minute. I want to turn back the clock.
You can’t turn back the clock.
Even if I could, would I want that?
It will only continue moving forward.
Once more the panic sets in when my eyes meet the edge again.
You begin to wonder what will happen once you reach the edge. Will you fall? Is it terrifying? Will you be hurt? Where will you go? What will happen?
My heart begins to beat faster and faster with every step.
This last year of childhood holds so many questions and dreams and hopes.
I take one more step and my foot leaves the edge.
I can’t tell you what will happen. I can’t say “Yes it will all be alright.” But I can ask this question…
I’m falling but… instead of terror I feel a rush of excitement. In an instant I stop falling…
“My dear, what if you do not fall…
And begin soaring up towards the sky.
… but you fly instead?”
Before I know it I’m standing in that unknown territory that terrified me so much.
You see… the fall seemed frightening but really it was both frightening and exhilarating.
How I ended up here I am not sure.
We all fall. But truthfully, we can still fly.
I glance back towards the cliff I had stood on only moments before. It seemed so distant and yet so close.
Senior year. The year 8 year old me viewed as “the year I go to prom”. The year that is finally here and makes next year seem even more intimidating.
I’m not sure what to do now.
I’m not sure how it will go next year.
How to begin. How to begin indeed.
It will be scarily new.
I begin with a step. Every step is a step towards the future.
But I bet it will be an adventure like one I’ve never had before.