Have you ever had a day where you wake up and you feel… absolutely nothing?

You sit and you just feel empty.

You sit and you begin to think that if you were gone then no one would care. 

You text him and ask, “Do I matter?”

He’ll say yes. 

He does say yes.

But does that take away the emptiness that’s residing in you? 

No.

You continue to see yourself as someone who doesn’t matter.

You see yourself as that person that people wouldn’t miss.

You feel nothing and yet you feel everything at the same time.

While you feel so much pain, you can’t even cry because of this emptiness.

You spend the day in the middle of a dark cloud and the next day the cloud is just light enough that you can see. 

You get up.

You shower.

You brush your hair.

You brush your teeth.

You put on new clothes.

All the while you can’t stop thinking about how insignificant you are. 

You look at your reflection and watch as that one, forbidden tear falls slowly down your face. 

You’re ready. 

Well… you are the world’s definition of “ready for the day”.

You’ve put on your best makeup and dressed in the most stylish outfit you can.

You’re out of bed and you’ve stopped the tears.

This means you’re ready for today… doesn’t it?

Or does it simply mean that you look presentable enough so that people will have no idea that you spent the night before crying till your head hurt.

And before that you felt absolutely nothing.

No one will ever know because you cover it up so well. 

No one can see the tear stains and bags under your eyes. 

You’ve covered those with makeup. 

No one will know of the insecurities because you shove them down. 

No one will know you are suffering because you put on a smile.

And if we smile then that means we’re ok… right?

If only they knew… if only they knew how much pain a smile could hide.